


She Blinded Me With Science

by Artemis_Day



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: All Chapters Unconnected, Awesome Jane Foster, BAMF Jane Foster, Different ship each chapter, Except for day four which is no ship, F/M, Jane Foster Loves Science, Jane Foster Week, Jane Foster deserves all the love because she is awesome, M/M, first chapter is Lokane second is Bucky/Jane/Steve and so on, relationships are listed in the order they appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/pseuds/Artemis_Day
Summary: Celebrating the woman of science herself, Jane Foster, all week long. From scientific mishaps to sexy shenanigans. Jane Foster Week 2017.





	1. Space- Loki/Jane

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy have I been looking forward to this so much for the last month and a half. :D I can’t believe the time has finally come, but here we are.
> 
> This first ficlet is a continuation to a drabble I wrote several years ago. It can be read here: /works/1128065/chapters/3067114. The idea was that Jane accidentally sent herself to Jotunheim, where Loki has taken over and become king. This is what happens after he finds Jane and takes her back to his palace with him.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**.01 Space**

Jane woke up on a plushy mattress an indeterminable amount of time after blasting herself to an alien planet and being captured by the king. She was almost convinced it had been a dream when she heard the crackling fire (her lab did not have a fireplace) and remembered her bed was a secondhand cot in a dingy trailer. She opened her eyes and took in deep green sheets on a bed the size of a football field.

The room was even bigger and filled with ancient Norwegian artifacts, from the wall carvings to the decorative wooden shields. It was like one of those historical recreations they kept in museums. Except Jane doubted those phony beds stuffed with straw would ever be so comfortable as this.

The color scheme was decidedly green, with a little black and gold thrown in for good measure. Jane glanced down at herself and sighed with relief that she was still dressed. There had been no 'bathe her and bring her to me' nonsense. At least, not yet.

She was alone as far as she could tell. In a room this big, there was no way to be sure. The fire brightened as if aware she was awake and needed more light. It provided more than any fire should be capable of. She'd have to ask someone about that, she thought dimly, assuming this apparent hospitality wasn't a ploy to bring her guard down. Devouring your prey was easy if they didn't struggle.

Jane scooted to the edge of the bed. Her shoes were placed neatly next to an ornate armchair. Her jacket was folded and draped over the top. She left them for now, the floor carpeted and the room a pleasant temperature. Her first steps were uneven but quickly improved. Two chairs were positioned directly in front of the fireplace for maximum warmth, an oval-shaped table between them. She studied a dish sitting precariously on the latter, covered by a silver dome with dragon-shaped carvings around the rim. Jane was a scientific mind who prided herself in her critical thinking and problem-solving abilities, but it was at least a full minute before she realized the plate was meant for her.

She lifted the dome, fully expecting breakfast to be a bowl of mush or something not completely dead. The buttermilk biscuits with cream cheese and side fruit bowl, therefore, gave her pause. Jane picked nervously at what appeared to be an ordinary blueberry. It tasted like one too, once she mustered up the courage to eat it.

The door opened, apparently unlocked from the start. In walked the man from yesterday, the one the bigger monsters seemed to defer to. He did have a regal air about him, partial nudity notwithstanding. His red eyes followed her as she sank into a chair. A berry fell between her fingers and rolled under the bed.

"Good morning," he said. He had a British sounding accent though Jane was pretty sure he'd never set foot in that country.

"Good morning," Jane answered. "Um… I was just…"

"You may eat," he said, assuming that was the reason behind her discomfort. He took the chair opposite her, steepling his fingers as she hesitantly took a biscuit and brought it to her lips. A mouth-watering aroma wafted straight into her nostrils, turning Jane's fear to desire. She polished off the whole thing in two bites and immediately reached for another. "I take it you are satisfied with your accommodations?"

"What?" Jane asked with her mouth full. She swallowed and brushed some crumbs off her lip. "Oh yeah. It's great. Um… I wasn't expecting to have my own room."

"Yes, unfortunately, the dungeons are currently full. You'll have to make due until the mid-afternoon executions."

Jane's heart stopped.

He grinned. "That was a joke."

If she wasn't so sure he could kill her just by thinking about it, she'd slap him. "Oh, okay. Um… may I ask a question?"

"You just did," he said, which was annoying and pedantic, but it wasn't a no.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Jane played with a rip in her shirt that wasn't there before. She must have snagged it on something during the transport. "I'm technically an intruder, even though I didn't mean to be. You could've locked me up for real or…"

He gave a thoughtful hum, then leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. He had ridiculously long legs and kind of amazing abs. "That is the question."

What was that supposed to mean?

"It is true, in most situations, I would assume you a spy and have you killed on sight. And that is not a joke." He added that last part when Jane nearly laughed out loud. "However, given the length of time since any of the nine realms have visited Midgard, I doubt you are more than a displaced traveler. That you arrived on Jotunheim of all places is an extraordinary case of bad luck, is it not?"

"I don't know," Jane answered honestly. She was sitting in a room more gorgeous than anything she ever thought she'd see in her lifetime with an alien king. "Is it?"

He pursed his lips, then got to his feet. With a wave of his hand, the flames died down. New artificial light took its place. It came from every direction, shining a golden hue on the walls. Jane stared at the multiple orbs in awe. None of them resembled light bulbs or flames. There was no point of origin. They'd just sprung into existence like magic.

"Your people call it electricity, I believe," he said. "The method of lighting a room without fire… quite primitive if you don't mind me saying."

Jane would've been affronted and happy to defend her races innovations over the course of a few thousand years, but then again, there was a scientific impossibility happening before her eyes. The wheels in her head turned hard enough to break. "It's amazing."

His mouth twitched. "I have a proposition for you, little one."

Jane blinked. "What kind of proposition?"

"That depends," he paced before the fire, his long hair swaying behind him. "Do you wish to return to your homeworld at once or would you like to stay a while?"

"Wait, are you saying you could send me home?" Jane shot to her feet. "Like right now?"

"If you wish," he said almost bitterly. "There are few corners of the galaxy I cannot find. Though before you make a decision, consider this: there is a vast universe out there your people have barely touched, is there not?"

"We've been to the moon," Jane said lamely. "And there are probes as far as Pluto."

He smiled the way a person usually reserved for a child's macaroni art. "But my dear, you've been given a unique opportunity to see more. All you have to do is say the word."

The curtains took on a life of their own, sliding aside in perfect synchronicity. They'd blended so well into the rest of the wall, Jane had assumed there were no windows. She was wrong. Without covers, there was almost nothing but windows. Jane beheld the skyline of an ice blue city, teeming with skyscrapers reaching for the stars. Speaking of stars, there were hundreds, if not thousands, twinkling like tiny jewels in the sky. Within seconds, Jane had mapped out five different constellations she had never seen before, and every which way she looked there were more. So many it made her head hurt and her heart soar.

"This… this is…"

She pressed her hands on the glass. When had she moved? She was by the fire a second ago. Now the heat of the flames barely touched her, but she had never felt warmer.

"This is merely a taste of what I can show you, little one," he said, his lips a hair's breath from her ear. "Say the word and I will give you the universe."

Jane swallowed and nodded, her trance broken by the weight of one pressing matter. "But why me? You don't even know me."

He took her hand in his. He was wearing gloves for some reason. "I know you've accomplished something no one on your planet should be capable of. Not even Jotunheim has managed to create a bridge between worlds. You have achieved on your own what took the Aesir centuries."

"I wasn't completely alone," Jane said hoarsely. The intensity of his gaze silenced any further attempts at modesty.

"The fact remains, little one, you are the most fascinating creature I have come across in all my years."

How many years was that she wondered. He appeared close to her age, but his eyes were ancient. He could be well over a thousand years old for all she knew and if that were the case… either he was an excellent liar or Jane had just been given one hell of a compliment.

"Okay," she said, breathing deeply. "First of all, if I'm going to stay a while, you have to stop calling me 'little one'. My name is Jane Foster."

Never did she think she'd see such honest to God joy in his eyes, though he covered it up nicely with a smirk. "As you wish, Jane Foster."

The way he said her name was almost sinful. It shook Jane at her core and she was forced to acknowledge that in spite of (or perhaps because of) his alien features, he was incredibly handsome. "A-and, I need to let my friends know I'm okay. I can't let them think I'm dead."

"Very well," he said. "We can send word to them whenever you wish. Now then, shall I escort you to the observatory?"

"You have an observatory?"

He chuckled. "Jotunheim has come a long way since I took over. Soon our cities and innovations will rival Asgard itself."

They left the room, the door shutting and locking on its own behind them. Jane would have to ask her new friend about that later. They passed dozens of Jotunn servants and soldiers on their way to the top floor. All of them bowed before their king. None of them frightened Jane anymore as long as she kept close to him.

"Oh, where are my manners," he said as they reached a glass elevator (they had elevators here). He took her hand and kissed the air over it. "You may call me Loki, son of Frigga, King of Jotunheim."

"I think I'll go with just Loki if that's okay," Jane said. The elevator arrived and he stepped back to allow her first entry. They were halfway to the top and looking out at the snowy fields beyond the city when it hit her. "I'm sorry, Loki? Like  _Loki_  Loki? Like… that… are you-"

"Save your questions, Jane Foster," he smiled serenely, his red eyes no longer like blood to her. More like rubies. "We have all the time in the world."


	2. Associated Quote- Bucky/Jane/Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based on this tumblr post: http://widowbitesandhearingaids.tumblr.com/post/114068400127/can-you-imagine-steve-and-jane-foster-being

**.02 Associated Quote**

_Science never solves a problem without creating ten more. -George Bernard Shaw_

Bucky would never forget the first time he met Jane Foster.

It was sometime after their climactic battle against Thanos for the fate of the universe. The mad titan was dead. Bucky had a new arm and full control of his mind. Him and Steve were picking up the pieces of their friendship/romance/whatever you called random fucking these days. All in all, things were okay.

They had a place on Long Island and went upstate every few weeks to the main Avengers base. Steve and Tony had worked out their issues and were back to their kind of sort of best friend relationship. Tony hadn't quite forgiven Bucky yet, but he'd stopped trying to shoot him when he walked in the room, so that was progress.

Bucky was at the base eating lunch one day when Steve walked in He had a woman with him, one Bucky had never seen before. "Hey Buck, I'd like you to meet Jane. Jane, this is Bucky."

"Nice to meet you," she said, shaking his hand. She had a nice smile.

"Likewise," Bucky said. He went back to his peanut butter sandwich while Steve and Jane sat beside him at the bar top.

"She was just telling me about the time SHIELD confiscated her equipment," Steve said before turning back to Jane. "Did you really drive all the way out into the desert to get it back?"

"Thor needed a ride, and I needed my stuff back,," said Jane. "I didn't know for sure then that he could do it, but it was that or sit on my ass and mope."

 _'Can't do that,'_ Bucky thought. He wasn't invested in their conversation, but they were fun to listen to.

"No, I completely understand. I would've done the same thing," said Steve. "That urban legend about me and the grenade? Not a legend."

Jane laughed. "Reminds me of when I tried shielding Thor with my body in the middle of a fight."

Bucky stopped chewing.

"You tried to shield _Thor?_ "

"Twice."

Bucky's head turned slowly towards her.

"No offense, Jane, but I don't think ten of you working together could do that."

"None taken, but in my defense it was a life or death situation. I try to do whatever I can to help save the day, be it making some funky new device or trying to defend super powered aliens. Probably why I punched Loki that one time."

The sandwich fell out of Bucky's hands.

"You punched Loki… I knew I liked you for a reason. Anyway, how's your bridge coming along?"

"We're getting started on a new prototype. Since that incident with the last one, we overhauled the fire safety regulations. Right now, we're looking at a ninety seven percent chance at successful transport. I figure if we can reach one hundred percent and I get myself as far as Asgard, we'll be in business."

"Wait, you're not using a test subject?"

"Why bother? It's my bridge. If anyone's gets first ride, it's going to be… is he okay?"

Bucky was decidedly not okay. His mouth hung open and his eyes bugged out. The sad remains of his sandwich lay forgotten on the floor, and though Steve called his name, Bucky was not in a place to answer. He could hardly hear Steve at all as he sunk deep into his thoughts.

* * *

James Buchanan Barnes Inner Mind Theatre 

_"It is time to commence my greatest scientific experiment yet!" Jane shouted as she put on a helmet and strapped herself down on a massive rocket._

_A faceless man in a lab coat lit the fuse, then ran for cover. The rocket shot out through a hole in the ceiling, Jane riding it like a horse and cackling with glee._

_"FOR SCIENCE!" she screamed, soaring higher and higher in the sky. The rocket reached the sun and exploded on impact. Millions of pieces rained down upon the earth. All that remained of Jane Foster was some hair and a scrap of singed plaid._

* * *

"Buck? Bucky?" Steve snapped his fingers in Bucky's face. "You in there?"

Bucky returned to reality with a bang. Literally. That was the sound his chair made when he threw it at the wall getting up. He lunged at Jane, pulling her so close their noses touched. "You must be protected _at all costs_."

Jane blinked. Steve blinked. Bucky did not blink.

"Uh…" Jane said. "Okay?"

After that fateful day, the majority of Bucky and Steve's free time was spent in Jane's lab. By the third day, she'd gotten over her befuddlement and accepted them into the fold as unpaid, super strong assistants. They moved heavy equipment, made midnight convenience/liquor store runs, and got a crash course in welding when it came time to solder the frame into place.

At night, or whenever Jane's eyes started to droop, they'd ease her away from her station and carry her to bed. She'd offer token resistance, but always gave in and buried her head into the neck of whoever got to hold her that day. It was a peaceful routine for the three of them. Jane got her work done faster, Bucky ensured she didn't blow herself to kingdom come, and Steve got a few nights a week in bed as long as Jane and Bucky's self imposed tasks were completed in a timely manner.

On one such night, which should have been date night at home watching badly dubbed kung fu movies and eating pizza, Steve was in the kitchen getting their drinks while Bucky put the movie on. He was all wrapped up in his favorite fuzzy blanket, so comfortable he didn't think he'd move for the next week. Then his phone chimed with a new text message.

'Hey there! Having a big breakthrough. Think the bridge might be ready for a test run! -Jane'

"Okay," Steve said, as he walked in with two fruity beverages. "Got those mango strawberry smoothies with whipped cream for my best guy!"

Bucky threw the blanket away. It smacked into Steve, spilling the drinks all over him. "We have to go. Jane needs us."

"But-"

"MOVE!"

They were out the door in seconds, Steve fumbling with his jacket as Bucky half dragged him to the car. He threw him in the passenger seat and tore out of the driveway. Steve managed to right himself and buckle in three blocks away from Jane's lab. He glared at Bucky. "Tonight was supposed to be our night, you know."

"Now it's our night and Jane's. Deal with it."

"If you love her so much, you should marry her."

"Not me, we."

"Wait, what?"

They arrived to find the lab intact and Jane exactly where they left her that morning. She had a Chinese takeout carton in her lap and typed one-handed while she ate. On the screen was the same code she'd been working on. The bridge prototype was untouched and unactivated.

"Hey guys," she said. "What are you doing here? I thought tonight was date night."

"So did I," Steve grumbled.

"I got your text. Did anything happen?" Bucky did a full sweep of the lab, searching for fires, leaking chemicals, or rips in the space time continuum. "Did you turn on the bridge?"

Jane swallowed a bite of lo mein. "I ordered dinner first. Physical engineering is hungry work. I've got more if you want some."

Bucky's stomach chose that moment to whine. He took a seat and rolled another chair at Steve. Jane had overshot how much food she'd need, leaving just enough for the three of them. Bucky gobbled down his fried shrimp while Steve stole an entire plate of dim sum. They ate, chatted, laughed, and joked around. Eventually, Steve relaxed and stopped passive aggressively ribbing Bucky about date night. It wouldn't have been the same without Jane anyway. One of these days, Bucky would tell her that. Unless Steve beat him to the punch.

"So I think I'll be ready for the test run tomorrow," Jane said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "It's going to be amazing, though success is only ninety five percent certain this time."

Bucky forgot momentarily that he was supposed to be curbing her reckless behavior and got lost in how adorable she was when she was happy. Or nervous. Or happy and nervous at the same time. "That's great, Jane. And I'm sure whatever inanimate you send to Asgard will have a great trip!"

"Smooth Barnes," Steve hissed in his ear. Bucky elbowed him in the gut.

"Yeah, I still haven't convinced the legal team to let me go," Jane groused, crossing her arms. "As if they get to tell me what I do with my bridge."

"Well, they're the ones responsible for damage control if something goes wrong," said Steve.

"Nothing will go wrong if they'd just let me do it my way," Jane said. "Instead, I have to add all these superfluous safety features that aren't even really safe. I'd be at one hundred percent if it wasn't for this so-called virus protection they installed. That thing is buggier than a swamp."

"So delete it."

"I've tried. The encryptions are a mile long," Jane harrumphed. "Stupid bureaucracy. This is why I was independent for so long."

"I thought it was because they were stupid and didn't believe you," said Bucky.

"True," Jane conceded, "but they're eating their words now. And they'll eat them even more if I can get rid of this virus blocker."

She dropped the empty lo mein carton in the garbage. With both hands free, she typed at lightning speed. Bucky had never seen hands move so quickly. He tried to follow them, but his temples throbbed. He took to watching the screen instead. Line after line of letters and numbers in a sequence which made sense only to Jane. Bucky shared a look with Steve, but the punk just shrugged and shook his head.

"Are you sure you shouldn't just leave it?" Bucky asked as Jane deleted everything she'd written in frustration and started again. "Maybe it really would help?"

Alarms went off around the room as the screen took on a life of it's own. It spat out numbers at a rate of a hundred per second, too fast even for Jane.

"Yes," she said, the color draining from her face. "I am extremely sure."

"What's going on?" Steve got out of his chair as the gate prototype began to oscillate.

Jane screamed. "HIT THE DECK!"

The explosion shook the foundation of the building, which was single floor and made from titanium alloy exactly for this reason. They'd all have to send thank you notes to Tony later. In the meantime, Bucky covered Jane with his body, while Steve shielded the both of them with a metal table. The gate opened part of the way and blew an unearthly wind at them, pushing them backwards. Random bits of unused wires and computer modules flew over their heads. Bucky would have bumps and bruises later. Steve already had a cut on his cheek and lord knows how Jane was fairing.

The chaos ceased after ten long seconds. The gate's door mechanism rebooted and went back online, bringing about an end to the storm which in turn shut off the alarm system. The lab returned to relative silence as the trio picked themselves off the ground and assessed the damage.

Jane's bridge was in perfect condition. Everything else was not.

"I guess we won't be doing that demonstration tomorrow," Jane said, picking up the snarled remains of her favorite computer with shaking hands.

Steve put an arm around her. Bucky did the same. Sandwiched between them, she allowed her muscles to relax and her knees to buckle. They held her steady. Bucky kissed the crown of her head and rubbed her back. "Steve, what do you say we have a nice long talk with those legal guys tomorrow?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth," said Steve. "For now, how about you come home with us, Jane? We can watch kung fu movies."

He was so earnest, puppy dog eyes fully armed and loaded. Bucky himself would've fallen for it. Compared to that, Jane never stood a chance. She dried her eyes and left her ruined tech on the battered table. They stepped outside, arm in arm, to find an army of police cars and firetrucks waiting for them.

Two hours of paperwork and interrogation later, during which Bucky scared three different officers into wetting themselves, the three of them finally made it home. They cuddled up on the couch, Jane wrapped securely in the fuzzy blanket between them. Sipping mango strawberry smoothies, they watched Bruce Lee beat up thirty guys at a time and let their troubles roll by.

Bucky had read once that sometimes, science caused more problems than it solved. He kissed Steve and Jane as they were lulled off to sleep, and knew this was not one of those times.


	3. AU- Loki/Jane/Bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Biker AU based on this post: /post/157467916217/fic-title-im-a-little-rusty-choose-your, though this fic doesn't use that exact scenario.

  **.03 AU**

 _'I am not a damsel in distress. I_ _do not need to be saved. I am a strong, independent woman of science, and the only reason I'm hiding is so I can wait for the right moment to make a break for the door. I am not waiting for some big burly hero to come and sweep me out of harm's way.'_

This was Jane's mantra as she ducked behind the bar away from the brawl about to commence. She should've known going out for pina coladas was a bad idea. She'd had such a great day today (blowing away the board of trustees with her latest findings), she'd thought she was immune to trouble. And so the universe had seen fit to dissuade her of such arrogance. That's why she was now in a fetal position as bottles flew over her head. What started the fight, she didn't know. Random bar guy A said something to offend random bar guy B. Bar guys C through F caught them duking it out and took the opportunity to trash the place. That was Jane's best guess.

She inched closer to the door. There were approximately eight feet between the end of the bar and the exit. If she was quick and didn't get hit by a flying projectile, she'd be outside in three to five seconds. She just needed the right moment to make a move. Peeking around the side, Jane spotted ten guys hurling themselves at a pair of men standing back to back. Five went down too fast for Jane to follow the action. The others fared slightly better but still ended up on the ground with their faces smashed in. Their opponents moved on to other targets, and that was when Jane realized the entire fight was these two men against everyone else. And they were _winning._

"This is why I hate going places with you," one of them said to the other. He was tall and well built with long dark hair and a healthy amount of stubble. "You're always running your mouth off, and then people get pissed, and then we have to fight our way through a group of drunk guys or mafia enforcers or something."

"Your words injure me, James," said the second man with a distinctly posh accent. Slightly taller and skinnier than his companion, he was nevertheless a force to be reckoned with. He effortlessly caught a punch and twisted his attacker's arm hard enough to snap the bones. "I might reconsider covering the cost of your drinks."

"What drinks? I didn't get a chance to drink anything thanks to you." The first man, James, picked up a chair and threw it over his shoulder. It slammed into a man sneaking up on him, knocking him out cold. "I should take that stupid bike of yours and throw it off a bridge."

"I'd prefer you didn't. It cost me more money than you've ever seen."

"Yeah, that must be why you're bringing it to me every other week for repairs, jackass."

They stepped back at the same time, allowing another man to barrel past them. He was enormous and couldn't slow down. He slammed into the bartop. It wobbled and Jane had to muffle a scream, but it stayed upright. He had been the last man standing. The fight was finally over.

_'See that? Not a damsel. You got through it all on your own.'_

Except she was still in the bar and she had no idea if the dynamic duo over there were good guys or bad guys. She peered out through a gap between the bottles at their legs. She had yet to get a good look at their faces, but their voices struck a chord in her. She was pretty sure she'd heard them before.

One of them bent over to pick something up. He glanced in Jane's direction, his eyes blue-green and piercing. She moved away, praying he hadn't seen her. She held her breath and waited to hear footsteps approaching the bar, but they never came.

"All right, I believe we're done here," said the British one. "Shall we?"

"I'm still dumping your bike in the ocean, asshole."

As they pushed bodies aside with the toes of their boots, a single head lifted. The man snarled with a purer form of hate than Jane had ever seen. He rose steadily to his feet, not making a sound. A blade protruded from his hand, poised to stab the British one in the back.

Jane didn't know what made her do it; her body was on autopilot. There was an unopened bottle of vodka within her reach. She lobbed it at the man's head with all her strength, and though she was zero and fifty-nine at wastepaper basketball, this time her aim was true. Jane didn't know what sounded worse, the bottle hitting his head or his body hitting the floor. Either way, he would not be getting up again for a while. His knife skidded across the floor, stopping at the foot of the first man, James.

James, whom Jane now recognized as James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes. Also known as half of the most notorious biker gangs in the city. Which meant his friend was Loki Odinson, the other half.

They were much hotter in person, Jane dimly acknowledged. They were also staring at her.

"Uh…" she swallowed. "I uh… I'm…"

"Aren't you Jane Foster?" Bucky pointed at her. Loki studied her with greater interest at his friend's words.

"Huh? I mean yes, I am… how do you know my name?"

Loki chuckled. "Calm yourself. We attended your seminar on wormholes last month. You are an excellent speaker and your work in astrophysics is truly brilliant."

"You were at my lecture?" Jane was in the Twilight Zone. She had to be. There was no other way she could possibly cross paths with a pair of sexy bikers and find out they were fans.

"So what brings you here?" asked Bucky. "With all due respect, this doesn't seem like your kind of place."

"It's not," said Jane. "My usual bar closed down and I've been looking for a new one. I probably shouldn't have started with this one."

"I'm rather glad you did," said Loki, Bucky nodding in agreement. "Now, how shall we repay you for that daring rescue?"

"It was barely a rescue," Jane said. "You guys could've taken him down no problem."

"Doesn't matter," said Bucky. "How about dinner? All this fighting and not getting anything to drink-" he shot Loki the stink eye, "-is making me hungry."

"Do you enjoy pizza, Ms. Foster?"

She could tell by the look in their eyes, they would not take no for an answer. She also had a feeling they weren't looking to be just friends. Assuming her hormones weren't acting up and making her hallucinate. With a sigh of defeat and a smile she couldn't keep down, Jane met them at the door. "I know a place three blocks from here wit the best thin crust in New York. How do you guys feel about pineapple pizza?"

They looked as though she'd asked them to kill a puppy.

"There is little in this world more despicable than pizza with pineapples on it," said Loki.

"Makes me sick to my stomach," said Bucky, who indeed looked a little green.

Jane grinned. "I think the three of us will get along fine."


	4. Favorite Appearance- Gen

**.04 Favorite Appearance**

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore…"

Jane had never been to Kansas, but she had spent the last ten years in various parts of the East coast earning a boatload of degrees. She didn't have a dog either. 'Toto' was an old Windows computer monitor she found in a junk store. She was thinking it could be repurposed for a weather machine.

It had been twenty-four hours since her flight from Virginia landed in New Mexico. Her equipment had been shipped ahead and was waiting in twenty boxes when she made it to what would be her lab for at least the next year. Possibly longer if the abnormal weather patterns which brought her here continued.

Puente Antiguo was the closest form of civilization to the origin point out in the desert. Shot off from a larger city five miles away, it was the kind of place most young people went to college to get away from. The main street was composed of a diner, a bar, a small library, and a grocery store. Town Hall was in the same building as a barbershop. Men in cowboy hats were a dime a dozen, though Jane had yet to see animals outside of the pet store. The population was just under seven hundred. She was probably the youngest person barring the children. The median age according to Wikipedia was thirty-seven. Jane would be checking their math when she had time because that was about twenty years off her guess.

After hours of unpacking and rebuilding dismantled equipment, Jane broke for lunch. She headed to the diner, the best restaurant in all of Puente Antiguo. Of course, it was the only restaurant unless you counted McDonald's (Jane did not), but Izzy made a mean turkey and mayonnaise sandwich.

Izzy brought out the check herself; the waitress had called in sick. "You're that doctor, right? Just moved in?"

Jane sipped her coffee. It was… less good than the sandwich, but decent. "I sure am. I'm an astrophysicist tracking meteorology patterns to find evidence of wormholes."

Izzy blinked, head tilted to one side. "Well, good luck with that."

Back at the lab, Jane continued setting up well into the night. She was happy to find an all-night convenience store when she was once more struck by hunger at two in the morning. By six, her lab was complete. Her computer was wired up; her telescope was on the roof pointed at a seventy-degree angle; her ad for an intern was drafted and ready to be sent.

"Good job, Jane," she said to her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "This is your place now. It's going to be amazing."

She wasn't tired despite all the work she'd done and took to the roof to watch the stars. Five hours later, she'd be startled awake by a sixteen wheeler roaring down the street, and she'd find that one of her software programs was corrupted and would require an hour to fix, but for the moment, there was nothing in the world that bothered her. The sky was the limit.


	5. Respect- Bucky/Jane

**.05 Respect**

Jane met Bucky Barnes three times before learning his name.

**

The first time was in the middle of a coffee run. She had been in London for two days, and the switch from small-town America to big city Europe had so far been debilitating to her sense of direction. Nearly an hour of walking took her from a lamp post with yellow graffiti on it to a telephone booth across the street from the lamp post. Jane realized she'd gone in a circle and kicked the phone booth in frustration. Her toes aching, she gave up her fruitless search and walked back towards home, going in what she hoped was the right direction.

A man sat on the bench by the bus stop. His head was bowed, a ball cap covering his face. He wore a thick coat over a few layers of clothes. He had a backpack under one arm which he held as though it were a child. Jane assumed he was asleep until she was about to pass by him when he suddenly lifted his head.

"Excuse me," he said, so soft she almost didn't hear, "do you know when the bus will be here?"

"I'm sorry, I don't," Jane said. "I'm new here, too."

"Oh…" He glanced away, the cap hiding his eyes once more. The rest of his face was scruffy with a splotch of dirt here and there. It matched the ratty look of his clothes all too well, painting a fuller picture of why he'd be sleeping at a bus stop in the middle of the day.

Jane took a few wadded up bills out of her pocket and handed them to him. "Get yourself some lunch, okay?"

"You don't have to-"

A bus rounded the corner, slowing to a halt in front of them. As the doors opened, Jane smiled at the man. "Your bus is here. Have a good day."

She continued down the street and looked back when she head the bus pull away, but of course, he was gone.

**

The second time, she had gained a much better grasp of London's geography. Her mother took her out in the day and showed her where to find everything she'd need. Grocer here, pub there, bookshop here, pub there, movie theater here, pub there. Jane knew every pub within a five-block radius even though she hadn't had a drink since college. Trust her good old British mum to have her priorities in line.

Jane was out one evening after a few hours of browsing the bookstore. She left as the sun was going down and starting what she'd expected to be an uneventful walk home. Halfway there, she realized someone was following her.

She took a sudden sharp turn left, and sure enough, the person behind her followed. Though they might just be going in the same direction, the dread in Jane's gut told a much different story. Jane Foster always trusted her gut. It was how she got to Puente Antiguo and had her big adventure with Thor.

Her stalker sped up. He was two steps behind her now. Jane discreetly checked her pockets, but there was nothing she could use as a weapon. She clutched her purse. It was a gift from her mother. Mrs. Foster never understood why Jane didn't carry a bang. Jane would have a perfect answer now, assuming the person behind her just wanted money and not something else.

There was a thud, then a grunt, and then another thud. Jane whirled around to find a large man on the ground with a lump on his head. A second man disappeared into the shadows of a dark alley. Jane barely recognized the outline of his baseball cap and backpack.

**

The third time, he was at the park. Jane took one look at him and marched back into the cafe from whence she came to get a second corned beef sandwich. She sat on the bench with him and placed it in his lap.

"Eat," she said when he stared at her for a full minute rather than dig into his sandwich. "Go on. It's good."

"Why are you doing this?"

Jane finished her sandwich and tossed the wrapper into the garbage. "Because I want to. And because you helped me with that mugger the other day. And because if someone needs help, you help them."

"What makes you think I need help?"

"You've been wearing the same clothes every day."

He looked down at his even more rumpled shirt and an old jacket. Then he picked up the sandwich and nibbled on the corner. His eyes widened as he registered the taste and finished the whole thing in three bites.

"I know," Jane giggled. "Never thought I'd like corned beef so much."

He almost smiled. He stopped at the last second and heaved a sigh. "I'm leaving tonight."

Jane furrowed her brow. "Leaving London?"

"Leaving England," he said. "I have to. I don't like staying in one place for too long."

"Where are you going?"

"Away," he said vaguely. "That's all I know right now."

He got up and started to leave. For reasons unknown even to her, Jane went after him. He had much longer legs and got as far as the gates before she caught up to him.

"I'm Jane," she said. "I don't think I ever told you."

He nodded. His eyes were clear, crystal blue and made her think of how handsome he must be under all that hair. "I'm glad I got to meet you, Jane."

"What's your name?"

He looked over her shoulder, nodding at someone or something. Jane didn't know. When she turned to look there was only the usual crowd of families and couples basking in one of the rare sunny days London could expect. She looked back at the blue-eyed man, but of course, he was gone.

**

The first time Jane heard his name was on a news report almost a year later.

'The public is warned that James Buchanan Barnes is armed and extremely dangerous. Call the number on your screen to report any sightings. Do not attempt to apprehend him yourself.'

This was the thrilling news report Darcy was watching when Jane shuffled out of her room like a zombie, desperately hungry for caffeine.

"Coffee's in the kitchen," Darcy said. God bless her. "And did you hear about this terrorist guy who bombed a UN meeting in Vienna?"

"Nope, sure haven't," Jane mumbled. She felt around the kitchen cupboard and found a mug. After a few sips, she was awake enough to understand what a tragedy had occurred and how this was yet another reason the world would probably end soon.

'Here we see Barnes outside the UN building just before the bombing.' The screen zoomed in on a blurry photo of a man with a weapon in his hand. His face was uncovered. Jane squinted, trying to recall where she'd seen that face before.

It came to her like a bucket of ice water dumped over her head.

"No way," she whispered.

"You say something?" Darcy looked at her curiously.

Jane swallowed bile and forced herself to be calm. "I was just thinking out loud. I'll be in the lab if you need me, okay?"

Darcy shrugged and switched channels as the piece about James Buchanan Barnes ended. She left it on a TV show she'd been following while Jane went to her lab and stayed buried in her work until the next day dawned.

**

The fourth time they met, the world actually was ending.

Thanos was laying waste to their planet. The Avengers and every ally they'd ever had were fully mobilized against the threat. Jane had been awake for two days studying Thanos's gauntlet. After losing her sixth computer attempting to measure the energy output, she found herself in the corner, curled up in a ball and crying.

"I can't do this…" she sobbed to herself. Darcy had been evacuated days ago with the rest of the civilians. There was no one left to hear her cry.

Footsteps so soft she might've imagined them stopped in front of her. Someone kneeled. Someone brushed her hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek.

"Doctor Foster?"

Jane didn't need to look up, but she did anyway. His hair was shorter and more styled, but still long. His face was clean shaven. His eyes were older, as were hers, but still beautiful. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you," he said, "saving the world and stuff. I didn't know you were a scientist."

"I didn't know you were a superhero."

He chuckled, though nothing was funny. He wore all black from head to toe, including his newly rebuilt prosthetic. Made from pure vibranium, she'd heard. Stronger than Cap's shield. "I have to go now."

Jane nodded, though in her head she cried out for him to stay. "I saw those reports about you and the UN building…"

His face fell.

"But I didn't believe it," she added quickly. "I mean… maybe I should have. We barely knew each other and they say you never really know a person, but I guess you just never seemed the type to me."

"I didn't?" He sounded like no one had ever said that to him.

"You seem like too good of a person."

If he was going to cry, he wouldn't do it in front of her. He left the lab, stopping at the door and taking one last look at her. As if he wanted a memory of her in case this was the last time. "After we’re done saving the world… you want to go get some corned beef sandwiches?"

Jane smiled. "I'd like that."

He closed and locked the door behind him, and they both got back to work with renewed vigor as the greatest battle Earth had ever faced raged on.

**

The fifth time, they stayed out all night, celebrating how great it was to be alive.


	6. Jane In Ragnarok- Clint/Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Technically this is more 'what Jane is doing during Ragnarok'. I wanted to take this opportunity to try out a new pairing I've never done before, and I've seen Clint/Jane a few times in the past so it seemed like a good option. Hope you enjoy!

**.06 Jane in Ragnarok**

"Dr. Foster, over here!"

"Ms. Foster, can you comment on Thor's absence during the Sokovia Accords?"

"Do you know anything about his current whereabouts!"

"Dr. Foster!"

"Dr. Foster!"

Jane slammed the door in the reporter's face. She might have pushed too hard and whacked him in the nose. If she did, she hoped it hurt.

They banged on her door for a few more seconds before giving up and returning to their hiding places in the bushes. Jane's new lab would be all over the internet by tomorrow accompanied by inane headlines.

_'Former Girlfriend of Thor Living In Lab.'_

_'Jane Foster's Single Life. Does She Miss Her Godly Lover?'_

_'Scientist Makes Strides in Interdimensional Travel But Who Cares About That Let's Talk About Her Dating Life!'_

A camera flash went off at the window. Jane rushed over to pull the shades down, then proceeded to do the same for every other window in her lab/temporary living arrangments, plunging the lab into darkness.

"That's it," Jane seethed as she slid to the floor beside the kitchen window. "I'm putting in a security system."

**  
Two weeks and one very elaborate security installation later, Jane was jolted awake from a peaceful slumber by six alarms going off at once. One from outside warning her an unauthorized person was on her property, one from the front door letting her know they'd picked the lock, and four from various points inside the lab.

Just under the blaring sirens, a rope snapped and a male voice screamed. The seventh and final alarm signaled her tripwire's successful activation. Jane leaped out of bed to find the would-be invader thrashing in mid-air, suspended by a cord wrapped around his ankle. Deceptively thin, it had been synthesized from some of the strongest material known to man. Unless he was as strong as Thor, he wasn't getting down until she wanted him to.

Jane grabbed a baseball bat and prepared to swing. The man threw out a hand. "Wait a minute! I'm not an intruder."

"You broke into my house while I was sleeping," Jane snapped. "That's the very definition of an intruder."

"Okay, but I'm not here to hurt you." He tried to reach the wires, only succeeding in a weird half sit up. "I need your help."

"Likely story." Jane readied the bat.

"Captain America needs your help."

Now there was an interesting story. It was most likely the ramblings of someone not eager to become a human pinata, but she was intrigued enough to hear him out. Dropping the bat, Jane switched on the lights. She tripped over the air as his upside-down face came into view.

"Holy shit, you're Hawkeye!" Jane pointed a shaking finger at him. "I've been seeing you on the news for weeks!"

"You mean in between all those Thor and Jane expose pieces?"

Jane still had the bat in her hand, which she reminded him of by tapping it against the floorboards.

"Sorry, bad joke," he said. "I'm usually more tactful than this, but the blood is kind of rushing to my head right now..."

Jane picked up her phone from the nightstand and typed in the abort codes. All alarms fell silent and the wire mechanism released. He plummeted a foot to the ground, landing on his head with a thump.

"Whoops," Jane said with an apologetic grin. "Yeah, there might be a few bugs I need to work out. Sorry."

"It's fine," Barton said, rubbing his head. "I've dealt with way worse… fancy new system you have here."

"Yeah," Jane said as she walked to the refrigerator. "I've had a lot of paparazzi on my back lately. This was just in case they got too bold."

Barton nodded. "Were you really going to hit me with a baseball bat?"

"In my defense, you could've been an ax murderer for all I knew."

"Fair enough."

Jane set them up at one of her empty lab tables. He had graciously accepted her offering of a water bottle but seemed to be wishing it was something stronger as he took small sips.

"So what's this about Captain America needing me," Jane said. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you guys fugitives?"

"You're half-wrong," said Barton. "We're still guilty in the eyes of the law, but we've been working with Stark again for the last few months under the table. There's something big coming and we don't know what it is. Only that it's bad and it's not from around here. That's where you come in."

"You need m to help with an alien threat," Jane nodded, looking down at her hands. "Okay. So you need my bridge designs or a consult?"

Barton raised an eyebrow. "You're taking this surprisingly well."

"I'm the only human in history to travel by bifrost and visit Asgard. Not to mention the two alien battles I've witnessed, one of which I helped to thwart. I'm pretty much over being shocked by anything."

He nodded, crossing his very muscular arms as Jane couldn't help but drink in the sight. That had to be the effect he was going for with that sleeveless top of his. "Would I be overstepping my boundaries if I said that's really hot?"

"You overstepped every boundary there is when you broke into my house," Jane said. "You couldn't have sent an e-mail?"

"Technically, I'm still wanted," said Barton. "Plus, Tony's not on board with bringing you on yet. Something about not wanting to risk another friend's life."

"I'll talk to him, don't worry." Jane ran around her lab grabbing clothes and notebooks and laptops. She threw them all in a carry-on bag until it was bursting at the seams. Throwing it over her shoulder, she started for the door. "Let's go. We've got a lot of ground to cover if we want to reach Manhattan before dawn."

"Actually, Stark moved everything upstate," said Barton.

"Even better." Jane rearmed the security system just in case some magazine writer took her absence as an invitation to snoop. There was a battered Pinto waiting by the curb. Jane ignored it in favor of her pinzgauer and Barton offered no objection. He was equally fine with taking the passenger seat. He read off the base's address as Jane entered it into her GPS.

"Travel time… seven hours," he read, clicking his tongue. "Looks like we won't beat the sun."

"It's fine," Jane said, pulling out of the driveway. "All it means is we have plenty of time to talk. So tell me about yourself. I honestly don't much about you except that you're a superhero and you're wanted by the government."

Barton thought for a moment. "Well, I'm partially deaf which not a lot of people realize because I can read lips so well. Uh… I was in the circus when I was a kid. I can shot a fly from two hundred miles away and sometimes I pretend my sister-in-law is my wife because my brother's an idiot."

Jane blinked at him many times. He never lost that cheerful yet utterly serious expression. "On second thought, seven hours may not be enough."


	7. Free Day- Jane Takes Over the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who favoriting, commented, and left kudos. This has been an amazing Jane Week. :D

**.07 Free Day**

Jane was on another planet. She knew it because the sky was orange and the sea was red. The mountains appeared to be upside down, balanced perfectly on the tips because physics here was broken. A bird flew overhead, or at least what Jane assumed was a bird. It looked more like a flying rat. It landed on a purple tree and squawked before licking the bottom side of its leg.

A crowd of humanoids surrounded Jane. They had already been there when Jane stepped through the hole in spacetime her bridge created, at least fifty by her count. They varied in height but stayed within normal human parameters. Their skin was pale like the aliens in that Star Trek parody movie Darcy made her watch, but instead of plain black, they sported multiple hair colors like they had dunked their heads in paint cans. They had no extra eyes or appendages growing out of their backs. No antennae or tentacles, at least as far as she could see. They didn't sprout fangs or devour her and they didn't care her away to jail for trespassing on their planet. For now and unless proven otherwise, Jane assumed they were friendly.

"Hi there," she said, nervously waving. "I'm Jane Foster. Nice to meet you."

They smiled at her. Literally all of them at the same time. The effect was creepy, but not overly so. One man stepped out of the crowd and took her by the hand. He felt warm enough despite his skin's deathly pallor.

"Hello, Jane Foster. You may call me Jenzen" he said, kissing her hand. "We are so glad you're here. We've waited ages for you to arrive."

Jane stared at him. Was he confusing her for someone else? "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to reach your planet. I'm a scientist and I was testing something called a-"

"Einstein-Rosen Bridge." Jenzen's smile widened, as did those of his compatriots. "Yes, we were told you would arrive in such a fashion."

"...by  _who?_ "

"Our former king before his death," a woman piped in as she stood beside Jenzen. They wore identical pendants around their necks which Jane assumed was their societies version of wedding rings. "He died without an heir, and so he looked into the future and declared our new ruler would come to us on a bridge like a rainbow, and she'd call it an Einstein Rosen bridge."

"New ruler…" Jane had heard pretty much nothing after those two words. "Did you say new ruler… as in the person who rules you guys?"

"We have spent the last ten years preparing for this day," said the woman. She had tears in her eyes as she and her husband knelt before Jane. "We cannot tell you how overjoyed we are that you've come to us, at last, my Queen."

Okay, they definitely had her confused with someone else. Someone important who would probably kill Jane for stealing their crown whenever they got back. The rest of the crowd fell to their knees until she couldn't see a single face in the crowd. Their heads bowed, they were like a swath of colorful polka dots drawn by a child on a murky brown landscape.

"Foster is a wonderful name," said Jenzen to the woman. "How about Fostera for the planet's new name?"

"It's perfect!" The woman exclaimed, clapping her hands. "The best name I've ever heard."

 _"You're renaming your planet after me?"_  Jane screamed.

"Of course we are. Our world must reflect our leader in every conceivable way." Jenzen then cleared his throat and addressed the crowd in a voice magnified ten times. "Fosterians! Our time of waiting has ended, for our new queen has finally come to us at last! All hail Queen Jane of Fostera!"

"ALL HAIL QUEEN JANE OF FOSTERA! ALL HAIL QUEEN JANE OF FOSTERA!"

They chanted for the longest time, celebrating the joy of having a new monarch. Said queen was decidedly unregal today with her buckling knees and unhinged jaw, but they didn't seem to notice.

**

Jane was shown to her royal suite in the Fosterian (she cringed when they said it) royal palace. Loki was waiting on the loveseat when she arrived, a book in his lap that looked older than he was.

"Good evening, my Queen," he said, a wide grin on his face showing all his teeth. "Isn't this an amusing predicament you're in."

"You know, I would be freaking out right now that you're alive and in my room," Jane said, "but I just don't have the energy."

Jane walked passed him to the bed and sunk into the mattress. She buried her head in some pillows and dug them even further in her ear when Loki chuckled. Such an annoying sound it made Darcy's snoring sound like classical music in comparison.

"Now Jane, a true queen never lays down on the job."

"I'm not a queen. These people have the wrong idea, and tomorrow I'm setting the record straight and going home."

"And how do you intend to do that, dare I ask?"

"None of your business." Jane picked up another pillow to throw at him. Since she hadn't looked up it went in the wrong direction and crashed into what sounded like a lamp. Loki clicked his tongue.

"Such childish anger, my dear. It's not befitting the ruler of a kingdom."

"Says the guy who invaded earth because you found out you were adopted." Jane beat the pillow harder into her ear to block him out. "Now go away before I have you kicked out."

"Do you believe that would work or do you want to know how I got in here undetected."

Jane read once that deep breathing exercises helped calm you down. She went through every single one she knew, and she still wanted to strangle him when she was done. "Okay." She sat up in bed. "I give. What do you want?"

He feigned bewilderment. "Want? Why on earth would I want anything? I only wished to visit my dear friend."

Jane raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, perhaps I was going to offer my assistance in your new responsibilities," he rose to his feet and stood over her. "As a queen, you are entitled to as many consorts as you wish, though your first should be one adept at matters of ruling, should he not?"

They stared at each other for a good long time. Long enough that Jane was pretty sure the polar ice caps would melt between his finishing his sentence and her breaking out into a massive smile. "You know what? I just realized what's going on here. It's so obvious! Why didn't I think of it before?"

She took Loki's hand and dragged him to the window, laughing the entire way. "You wanna be king of Fostera, you got it, jack." She threw open the window. A crowd of Fosterians was already waiting for her because of course. "Citizens of Fostera, as your Queen, I would like to make my first official proclamation."

"Speak, my queen," someone in the audience shouted.

"We will abide by your every word," another screamed.

"Ah, you guys are the best," Jane giggled. "Okay, so this is Loki, he's a prince of Asgard. As of right now, I officially declare him my husband and King of Fostera. That is something I can do because I said so. So everyone hail King Loki."

"ALL HAIL KING LOKI!" They obediently shouted. "ALL HAIL QUEEN JANE! ALL HAIL KING LOKI!"

"Awesome. I will be back with more royal decrees later." Jane gave them a thumbs up and shut the curtains.

"That was an excellent proclamation," Loki said. "I'm honored you've chosen me to be your king."

"Don't get used to it, buddy," Jane said, crawling back into bed. "As soon I wake up, I'll be back in my lab and you'll be dead again because this is all just a vivid dream. I'm not really ruling a planet. I didn't just declare us married. It's all in my imagination."

Loki nodded thoughtfully. "I see… though on the slim chance this is real, were there any other official decrees you were considering?"

Jane snorted. "Sure, why not? Uh… make every third Saturday 'World Science Day' where people come up with a new inventions or experiments and present them in a monthly Expo. Let's also rename those mountains the Darcy Lewis Range. She'd love that. Also, why don't you go to earth and get a bunch of hot guys for that consort harem you were talking about?"

"Any candidates in mind?"

"Bucky Barnes for one," Jane said, ticking names off on her fingers. "He's a friend of Steve Rogers and he's beyond gorgeous. You should see him work out. In fact, let's also get Steve himself and that other friend of his, Sam Wilson. Clint Barton is good too, but please don't mind control him again. And if there's anyone else you think I'd like, by all means, bring them along."

"Noted," Loki said, practically skipping out the door. "Rest well my Queen. On my honor, your orders will be carried out before you wake."

"Uh-huh, sounds great." Jane rolled over and closed her eyes. "Nighty night, dream Loki."

She was asleep in seconds, as Loki slowly closed the door with an evil smirk. "Goodnight, Jane…"

**

Jane opened her eyes the next morning expecting to see the slate gray walls of her lab and to be in a sleeping bag with an unfinished mug of coffee and some cereal next to her.

Instead, she was in her royal bedroom with a plate full of delicacies being held before her eyes by Loki."Good morning. Hungry?"

Jane screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Offering you breakfast," Loki said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm glad you're awake. I have the last bit of paperwork you need to officially establish World Science Day and you'll be pleased to know Darcy Lewis Range has just been christened."

"But- but- but- but-"

"Also, your consort harem is waiting in the drawing room downstairs. I was able to round up all of your selections. I believe Mr. Barnes might have feelings for you. When I said I was bringing him to you, he assumed I had kidnapped you and attempted to strangle me." Loki rubbed his neck, which sported a pair of hand shaped bruises on either side. "He does pack quite a punch."

"Ah… guh... buh…"

"I found Rogers mid-battle. His foe was quite adamant that I wouldn't end their fight or take the Captain with me. Some foolishness about being the only one allowed to defeat him. It was nonsense, but he seemed similar to the type you were asking for, so I brought him along as well. I believe Rogers called him 'Rumlow'. Does that name mean anything to you?"

"Haaaah..."

"Well, no matter. You will meet him and the others soon enough. Fortunately, the rest were easy to take, though I had to wait for Barton to fall asleep to avoid an altercation."

Loki led her along in her zombified state, down a hall which had been designed with her favorite colors and refurbished with a planets and stars motif. A life-sized statue of her had been erected on top of the stairwell. Everyone they passed bowed before their ruler, a loving whisper of 'my queen' on their lips.

Eventually, they reached a room with wide windows, through which Jane saw five men tied up on the couches, none of whom looked particularly happy to be there.

"Forgive me, dearest, it was the only way to prevent an escape attempt," said Loki. "Not that it would matter. As it turns out, this planet is all the way on the other side of the galaxy from Earth. I suppose your young friend is right, only Jane Foster would find herself in this situation."

He laughed and pressed a button on the wall, releasing the lock and allowing the door to slid open. With nothing else to do and a brain just now fully rebooted, Jane Foster of the planet Fostera stepped inside and faced the music.


End file.
